I realized today that it has been awhile since I last wrote anything. I have found that being a full-time student and wife along with having two part-time jobs makes it difficult for me to come and share my thoughts. Often these days those thoughts seem so jumbled that I really have to wonder if anyone will even care what they are anyway!!
These last couple of months have led me to some discoveries about myself and about the people in my life.
I was blessed to have the opportunity to have a girl afternoon with one of my most favorite people last weekend. We went to lunch and just sat and talked for hours. It was fantastic to be able to sit and talk and listen and know that some things in life don't change. Sure we grow older, get married, have kids (not always in that order). But even though we change and life changes, there are some things that remain constant.
I am lucky in that I have several friends that I have known for over ten years. Even luckier that my two closest friends in the world are the same today as they were when I was 16. We share a closeness that you can only have after being a part of someone's life for that long. Luckier still that one of those people has been in my life since I was 11.
Over the years we have had times when we lived apart, or didn't talk (for one reason or another). We have had times when we were not there for each other like we should have been, when our pride or our anger kept us from saying a simple "I'm sorry." Yet somehow we always end up back together. Like we should be. And not to be cliche, but these friends complete me. It is an amazing thing to have friends who have been there with you through the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. It is even more amazing to know that those friends still love you, just for who you are. There are no pretenses. I don't have to filter my thoughts. They get me.
The beauty of true friendship is in that, at our very lowest, we are loved anyway. That isn't to say that we don't let each other know when we are screwing up. We are pretty good at that. I think it is because it is easier to see the potential in someone we love then it is to see the potential in ourselves. That in and of itself is what makes friendship so special.
As a teenager you think that it is the number of friendships that you have that is important. As an adult you know that friendship is judged by what you have been through together, what you have survived. My friends were there when my life fell apart, and they helped me pick up the pieces and rebuild on a stronger foundation. At times it must have been difficult to be my friend. It is hard to watch someone you love screw up so badly. Yet through it all, they loved me. Even when they had to step back, there was love. Sometimes I think that we need to step back because of that love. And I know now what I didn't understand then, taking that step back is hard.
In May I graduate from College. I will officially be an RN. And although I know that I did the hard work, I also know that the degree that will be in my hand will not only belong to me. It will belong to my husband who has sacrificed and worked 100 hour weeks so that I didn't have to. It will belong to my family who has supported me and believed in me. And it will belong to my friends. Most people have dreams. I am lucky enough that the people in my life have dreamed my dreams with me. Lucky enough to have friends that know who I was, and love me despite my mistakes. Luckier still that those same friends are my cheering section today.
Friendship is a miracle. My friends are my miracle.